The gloves are f'n off!!!

What the hell kind of country is this? Don't they know who I am? I'm the Lone f'n DeRanger...show some respect! So we went to a town called Orvietto...how bad can it be you say...I'm on my second glass of wine and I'm about to give you the truth...not the orange f'n tramp version, the REAL thing!!! FIRST, for f sake someone creamed our rental car...scrapped the whole passenger side...pisstank drivers here, if they aren't up your ass on the highway, or road, or hey f you up in the parking lot...shit!!! It may not help that by Italian standards, we are driving a stretch limo...WHATEVER!!! It's an MG SUV for gawd sake...kinda like driving a Mac truck in a bowling alley. I swear I'm gunna kick someones ass!! Anyway, we went to this piece of crap town called Orvietto...the big draw is the most gawdy church you ever saw...

It's like the terratzo circus came to town and did a number on this church. Don't get me wrong, they did a really good job of over-decorating this place...there are sculptures and shit everywhere. Look at this...probably 40 feet high...

all that crap up close...

All that seems impressive, but it's a lot of alter boys getting you know...hmmm, I'm listening to Slave to Love...seems appropriate....but I digress. Once inside this madness, I saw these statues...

...and this one, is that Aquaman?

And they had this one to scare the alter boys...so they could do, you know...

I had to get the hell outta there...made my butt hurt! Anyway, we saw a lot of this kind of shit...

...and some flowers...

And just so ya know, it took me 4 hours to do this with one bar of internet...we are staying at the Motel 6 in Soriano...it's either clean the toilet or internet! I don't know what this last one is...f it...anyone out there?