Here we are in day 3, and today is the first day of rain...not much rain, but again, we are competing with The Donald...and gawd knows it's rainin' for him!  As I said yesterday, we were going down to Tribeca to find three legged tables.  We have been traveling on the subway...a real easy way to get lost it turns out!  So on our first attempt to get lost, we ran into the coolest little fella in NYC...don't know his name, but he was stylin'!

TLD: That is the coolest haircut I've ever seen!  Do you think I should get my hair cut that way?
Cool kid:  No way!
TLD:  Where did you get that jacket...I want one just like it...don't you think I'd look cool in a jacket like that?
Cool kid:  No.....why is your hair so white?  (His mother almost swallows her tongue at this remark)
TLD:  Well, I'm old...that's what happens when you get old.
Cool kid:  This is my Ninja Turtle...he could beat you up!  (Mother is laughing hysterically)
TLD:  Well I'm famous ya know!
Cool kid:  Not here!
Hmmmmmmmmmmm...no wonder this kid's name is trouble!  I thought I'd better escape before the Cool kid kicked my ass!  Off we went to Katz's deli...what a madhouse!  Katz's is where they filmed the orgasm scene from When Harry met Sally...these 3 women had ordered everything on the menu hoping to get what Sally had...

They didn't get the right items obviously...Anyway, here is an overview of the deli...

I didn't see him, but obviously Charlie Brown was there and here is his kid...

The portions at Katz's are huge...even by American standards.  I may not have to eat until I get back to Vancouver next week!  The rain got bad, so we postponed our three legged table odyssey for another day...but not before we saw this very ornate building...

 ...and stopped in a gallery to see somebody's rusty submarine...

...and just as we were about to get into the subway, we saw some architects tantrum with building blocks...

Cassandra tells me the penthouse goes for $50 million...anyone interested?

Our second day was a little less marathon-esque than our first day...all that whining paid off!  Of course, waddling around on my little stumps made it difficult.  We started off in Central Park...nice park if you like that kind of thing...

...some kind of sleeping, floating bird...

...and quite possibly the cutest little girl in the world!

I showed her Dad Mike that shot, and this one of the two of them...

After the park, I needed a nap...it's tough getting around on little nubs!  After the nap, we went down to see a green witch in a village...I never saw her...but I saw One Tooth Willie, the famous blues singer...

This green witch village must have really rich people living there...this beggar was talking with his publicist on his cell phone!

We ran into famous Canadian artist John Michaud at a coffee shop...I took this photo from across the street so I wouldn't interfere...

It was like Hollywood...first One Tooth Willie, then John Michaud...I was on a roll!  We could see lots of tall buildings...here's one...don't know which one...

Then we had dinner with our friends Tom, and Linda, and their beautiful daughter Erin.  Erin is the president of The Lone DeRanger fan club here in NYC!  She didn't know it...I'm sure it's happy news!  Off to some place called Tribeca, home of three legged tables.

The first 24 hours in NYC!

Yes amigos...N f'n YC!  Got here yesterday on the DeRangers private jet!  Beyonce wanted us to stay with her, but hell no...we're staying with Paris Hilton, except she's not here.  I didn't know she had a small room in some hotel called Hilton.......................OH, I GET IT!!!
Anyway, we went down to Time Square...did you know it wasn't square?

All these guys were standing around looking at this woman's crotch...then I thought, geez, she's kinda big...it was like a big drive in!...except there were screens everywhere with different movies on every screen...all I saw were commercials...none of the shows had started yet...bummer!  That was it for last night....today we went on a walking tour...sounds good right?  F'n walked a good 30 f'n miles I tell ya.  Took the subway to Toronto, then walked back to Manhatten...saw a couple of things, like...

Then we walked another 150 f'n miles and saw...

Fortunately, I saw this little hottie, and she made it all worthwhile!

And this is a pretty cool shot...

That's the Brooklyn Bridge in the background, and the feet of the Manhattan Bridge...I no longer have any feet, and my legs are down to nubs...anyone got any cheese?