Equal opportunity offender...

Let me start off by saying today was a wonderful day...someone mistook me for Don Rickles!  YA BABY!!!  Some other fun stuff happened too...don't get yer shorts in a knot.  We sat out on our patio this morning and had tea in the sunshine...just like you, I'm sure!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  Except for Ted and Dianne, and Jersy Jackie, the rest of you are freezing your knackers off....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  Ya well, talk to someone who cares...that PC crap almost killed me!  Here is Casstonto on the patio...

...isn't she a cutie!  We look out over a golf course...Megan, close your eyes...dumb, cheesy, golf course picture ahead....

...but this was right in front of us...

...and these...

...some kind of plant thing, or something.  This is our little pad...

We decided to go to the Tamale Festival in Indio today, and because the Lone DeRanger is a celebrity, we got to meet the Tamale Queen!

...and the girl from the Weight Watchers Drill Team, waiting in line for the Funnel Cakes...I think that's her brother behind her...same team...

...I think the funnel cakes must have been real good!  Next were these kids that couldn't ride bikes worth a damn....look at how this kid was trying to ride a bike...what was he thinking?

...he got more, and more tangled up...geez, he had the bike upside down, still trying to get on it...

...This looked like it was going to end badly...couldn't look anymore...

...they had this bungy torture thing...had some little girl all trussed up...up and down...up and down...I guess until the kid puked.  Casstonto said it would only take her a couple bounces.  Gotta hand it to the little girl...she hung in there for a good 30...kept yelling for more!

We went into Palm Springs for the big Santa Claus Parade...well, remember Glinda's breast...yup, maybe even colder!  Guess who the geriatric marshall was...forget it, you wouldn't remember with a gun to your head...Thighmaster Chick!  Got a crappy pic...car went by at about 60mph...couldn't even SEE her thighs!

Speaking of old horses...they had these ones electrified!

...see if you can guess the theme of this parade...

Ya, me neither...think I'll have me a drink or several!

I tried....

Really, I tried.  I admit, being PC DOESN'T come naturally to Lone.  Shocking, I know.  You're right, we all agree that I gave it a fair chance to get those mother f'n hooks in me, but The Lone DeRanger won out!  No, no...hold the applause.  Thank you, thank you.

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........on my 12th glass of vino.....can still speel vino!!!  Oops, I mean f'n wine, ok.  So, today's agenda started off with a well deserved nap.  My semi-faithful companion Casstonto said something like "get your lazy f'n ass off that bed"...although she used the REAL f word....personally, I was mortified...but it wasn't the first time I've heard that word mentioned in the same sentence as my name.  Today was the start of the Palm Springs Art Walk, and El Paseo Cruise and Casstonto really had it in her head to educamate me, or some kind of cultcha or something.  So here's what we did first....................................CARS baby..............CARS......................

This 59 was so sweet...smooth, straight...really nice!  And then there was an unoriginal Mustang with the badging...

...some oldies but goodies...

...a couple of personal favs...

...and these...

 

...and I met Graham from Naniamo with his cool rod!

...I liked this so much I ran out into the street and got this close up...

...and as it went by I got this one...

...but my favourite was this one...anyone know why?

Well, that was it for fun...then we had to go to some art gallery or something.  They had this kind of stuff...

...it's Christmas, so they have stuff like this...

...and I got this out of one of those art places...

...and the last shot of the night...

hahahahahahahahahahahaha...Have a nice day!

New and improved Lone DeRanger...

It has been pointed out to me that maybe the Lone DeRanger has anger issues.  Normally I would say f#*& that, screw you and don't let the door hit you in the ass, you're a moron, child molester, d*#kfaced mother f*#ker!!!  I have decided that I will take a different route.  The Lone DeRanger will be a kinder, gentler DeRanger.

When you say my blog sucks...I will say "You are a very intelligent person, and I value your opinion.  I will take that under consideration, and amend my position if your opinion is more valid than mine."  I will no longer call you a toothless hillbilly, hog-humper...I will say you are a dentally deprived, animal lover....yes, I will be PC!

Today we played golf with Tinkerbell, and Glinda, the good witch of the some f*&king place...oops, South...she's from the south!  Tinkerbell has been a hooker for Disney...oops, she has been a star from Disneyland.  They were delightful golf f*#king partners...delightful PARTNERS.  The golf course was visually challenged a bit, and the layout was designed by the world renowned architect Dumbass Jonespuller.  It was a sunny day, colder than Glinda's breast.

I appreciate your opinions, and thank you for them.  Should I change my name to The Lone Purveyor of Reality, Defender of Political Correctness?

I would have kicked hillbilly Tom in the crackers, but....

...he might have had a gun!  Yesterday was our first golf day, and if Lone had been packin', toothless, hog-humpin', sister-marryin', hillbilly Tom wouldn't have seen the second hole!  Reading that back, it seems unkind...in fact it's flattering!  Tom starts off by saying..."gu-yup...I ain'ts used to playin' high falootin' cow pastures like thisun'...any sheep I kin screw along the way?"  We stuck it out 9 holes, showered, then joined a very nice couple...Diane and Dan from Missouri...only Dan had clubs, and Diane played with Dan...hmmmmmmmmm.  It was average by Palm Desert temps...about 25C...today was downright chilly at 20C...we played Desert Falls...crappy little course...oh wait, that was hillbilly Toms course...Desert Falls was GREAT!!!

So how was it where you are today?  I don't care.  

Did you see it...I got my first death threat in the comments!  What took so long?  Hell, I'm doing my best here!  I never knew that Linda was the Queen of Hearts...but she spells it Queen oFarts...hahahahahahaha...she wouldn't kill me really...she secretly lusts after masked men!