The last day....

...with Maureen and Wild Gary.  I know, you were hoping it was the last day of the blog!

 I have no idea how "Wild" Gary is going to get tonight...he mentioned going to bed early and setting an alarm for 5 minutes before midnight, then getting his noise-maker and blowing                                        the noise-maker.  Hmmmmmmmm  Heart be still!  Anyway, our stay has been wonderful.  They bought this house with all furnishings...here is the living room/dining room...

 ...they refer to it as the "museum", and it is very elegant!  I did notice one thing about the painting behind the dining room table....

...and here is the close-up...

...hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...they look VERY familiar!  Anyway, we played a tough course today called Quintero.  I think it was designed by an un-diagnosed schizophrenic!  Quintero means mountain goat screwing eagle while riding a burro backwards.  It was beautiful...but to get to the first tee, there was a 10 minute cart ride through the housing development that didn't happen.  Looks nice though...

...and heading back to Maureen and Wild Gary's we got on the perfect Arizona road...

Seeing as how this is the last day of the year...last hours of 2013...I want to wish everyone all the best in 2014!  Casstonto (don't anyone look up the origin of that name), and Lone are very lucky to have people who will lie right to our faces and call us friends!  I hope 2014 is full of Depends for those who need them, and that for everyone, a non-stop Happy Hour!

Frank Lloyd Weird....

We went to a tour of Frank Lloyd Wright's first Arizona house/estate tonight.  Turns out he was just a little guy, that had very strange ideas about how people should live.  First, they should be short.  Make most of the ceilings low...really low.  According to crazy Frank, anyone over 6' is abnormal, and should not be considered in doorways, or ceiling height...only little people should inhabit the world.  Although I appear 6' 3" to most people that meet me (mainly because I'm so powerful, handsome, and well endowed), but I'm really 5' 10"...and I had to walk around with my head bent most places...and it wasn't because I was looking for the bar either!  I should have been much drunker for this tour...the best part of the tour was the sunset before it started!

...and because it happened at night, you couldn't see dick or his short cousin!  Boy, was I lookin' for a bar by this time!  Anyway, this is all I got...I don't even know what the hell it is!

Tomorrow, we move in with Maureen and Wild Gary for 3 days...I'll get more pics of Gary bustin' a move!!!

Christmas with the Posse!

Merry Christmas!  There are 70 of you maniacs on my mailing list, and I'm going to have a drink today for every one of you!  It should take me a couple hours to get through that many drinks, but hell, you're worth it!!!

Today for dinner there's Maureen and Gary, and Sandy and Trevor, Kathy and Mike,  and Comet and Cupid, Al and Jennie, and Donner and Blitzen....and Casstonto and Lone!  Lone is the one passed out in the gravy boat!  Just kiddin'!!! hahahahahahaha  Tomorrow, I'm back to drunken carousing with my pants down...well, maybe today at some point...I don't know most of these people, and I've got nice undies on today! hahahahahahahahahaha

Maureen is Tristan's Mom...Tristan is Casstonto's son-in-law, and Wild Gary is Maureen's husband. Why Wild Gary you ask...a picture is worth a thousand words...

...after Wild Gary did a pre-dinner cha-cha, I got a pic of the posse...

 ...as you can see, it's completely formal...everyone masked and feathered for Christmas.  What?...you didn't dress this way at your house?  Ingrate.  Then we had a spectacular dinner...Casstonto did the turkey in a big crock pot!  Everything was delicious!  I kept my pants on...Casstonto was relieved.  So today (Thursday) we played golf at Troon North...I played it 20 years ago...it used to be in the middle of nowhere...it's changed.

As we finished, there were hot air balloons going up in Scottsdale...

...and Casstonto was still pounding them out there 250 yds!

As we drove back to the hotel, we got the consummate Arizona sunset!

Merry day after Christmas everyone!

Golf with rigor...

...and his son, rigor Morris.  I tell ya...I didn't think he would live through the round, but he DID !!  The only way these guys could have played slower would have been if they were encased in a receding glacier.  I TAKE THAT BACK...they played at that pace!  So, do you think I'm pissed off?  Maybe, just a lot!  I know old people move slow...look at Ted...and Tom...geez, time the 100 meter dash with a sundial.  But these guys were REALLY f'n slow.  Here's a good example...look at this relative position of the sun before Rigor thought about a swing...

CRAP...that's a pic of the smoke detector in our room...ya, we're back in Notell Motel!  Anyway, here...

...this is a course we couldn't afford to play...anyone wanna send in donations for TLDR and Casstonto?  WHAT THE HELL WAS I TALKING ABOUT?  Oh ya...these guys were slow...no, dead...slow...and the sun was up as far as I remember.  Megan warning...golf course photos...make that very slow golf course photos.  I'm better now, new bottle of wine!  AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  Did I tell you I've got my noise cancelling headphones on REALLY LOUD!!!!!  Hey....I'm whispering because it's loud...drink break...AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  Ok, were was I?  Ah hell...doesn't f'n matter...we played golf with Methuselah, and his kid rigor Morris.  The Phoenician...in some place called Phoenix.  Built by a crooked politician with Savings and Loan Money...geez, I'm talkin' like I know somethin'!  Ok, I'm back or something...

...here's Casstonto about to put'er close...she was 2 under at this point...HONEST!!!  Damn...those sparks are coming out of my fingers again...HONEST!!!  So, did I tell you about these slow guys?  Well, let me tell ya...

...they decorate their cactus here...see there red balls...they were about to put on tinsel when rigor got up to hit when you guessed it...

...yep...ICEAGE!  This course was quite photogenic...

 ...and it was next to some ancient ruins...I think it was an old stripmall...

...and there was this par 3...

...where you had to hit down about 1000 feet, to a green smaller than a dimple on an ants ass...

...oh...do you see those two balls?...HEY, GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!!!!...after 1000 feet, those are Casstonto's and MINE!!!! hahahahahahahaha  AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  HONEST!!!!  And while we were up there, here is a view of mesopotamia when it was just a golf course...

...I'd better have a drink...I'm making PERFECT SENSE!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Superbowl commercial for UnderArmour...

Ya, on our way to Phoenix, we stopped off at Marshall Field...they had an airplane museum there.  I wanted to see it, but Casstonto said she'd rather have her toenails pulled out...hmmmmm, I guess that's a no.  Her loss...turns out they were shooting a Superbowl commercial for UnderArmour.  They wanted me in it, but couldn't afford me...HONEST!  All I could see was this guy that looked exactly like me...same rugged good looks, same physique, same height...everything except black, running around in this blue shirt...

See, he looks pretty much like exactly like a black Lone DeRanger!  Wait, maybe you can't see him clearly enough...

The Lone DeRanger doesn't come cheap...had to get some young, inexperienced guy...FINE!!!  So they had a bunch of planes...like this one...they called it a Blackbird...that's one long plane for one guy!

They had all kinds of cool planes...like these...

 ...betcha can't guess what this is...

WHOA...the bomb bay of a B52 that's what!  And this is a flying gas station...

They even had commie planes...

 ...way off in the distance were some real Air Force planes...

I think this was the kind of plane used to deliver the atomic bomb...

Speaking of bombs...I wonder what I'll write tomorrow....hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Last day in SoCal...

I was just going to hang out at the hotel today, but Casstonto talked me into going out to the ocean.  We drove north along Hwy. 101 through surf town after surf town...got hungry and stopped at...

...for tacos and enchiladas...

...personally, I think they should change the name to Los Olas Burp and Fart Emporium.  After lunch, a stroll on the beach...

As we drove up the coast, Casstonto said "Hey...what is Knuckleheads?"  Turns out it's where The Lone DeRanger get's his hair cut!

...and this is Eddie...

...here he is cutting Lone's hair...

...he was a whiz at cutting around the mask!  Knuckleheads was a very military place to get a haircut...most people now salute me as we pass.  Here is the full studio...

When we got back to the hotel, the sunset was very uninspiring...but the military came through out of respect to the new Military Lone DeRanger...

 This is the truth...HONEST!!!